7th
Yes, I Know Exactly.
This will all sound like some hackneyed period love letter. But I cannot approach the matter any other way. So shut up and read.
I am absolutely, incandescently in love with James McAvoy. And it is a slow love. It is born of careful contemplation. It is not immediate or gained a bit on the cheap as is the case with the more apparent specimens of male perfection: Brad Pitt, Colin Farrell, Antonio Banderas, Hugh Jackman. (And by cheap, I mean that it is not as easy to come by. It does not bludgeon you over the head with its sex. It is less vulgar, but no less psychologically intrusive. Instead of visual shock and awe, it seeks auditory conquest. It whispers to you diffidently, subversively, ”Do you like me?” And you do hesitate for a spell before you give a tentative reply that, “Gee, by golly, I think I actually might!”)
Yes, this one is work. This is the love that incubates. It takes its time. You must observe it closely to discover it. It is reserved for the less obvious and yet more human specimens of manhood. They are imperfect, and thus conceivable, and so all the more palatable for it. In this category I place Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson, Gabriel Byrne, Gary Oldman, Clive Owen, Javier Bardem, Johnny Depp, and now James McAvoy. This love is manifest more in style than in form. Subtle gestures. A strangely seductive cadence. Maybe a measured gait. Always the arms hooked behind the back. And especially—especially—a vulnerability in the eyes. Ralph, Liam, Gabriel, Gary, Clive, Javier, Johnny, James…they all have that vulnerability in the eyes.
And I think, what a shame that he’s only 5’7. Too short. But then, I think:
“Fuck it.”
I will leave you with this clip. Watch as he winces so slightly when he asks, “Why are you crying?”, as if to shake back his own tears. And then listen, LISTEN for the certainty and urgency in his voice as he says, “Yes I know exactly.” It is such a precise and acute proclamation of impudent desire. When I saw that in the theater for the first time, let me tell you, that line took my breath away. I could not believe my ears. Auditory conquest? Check.
